And then she sang Amazing Grace

... and then she sang - Amazing Grace.

Compelled I drove to St Kilda at invitation
to witness and take part in a candlelight vigil
for a prostitute.

So why are you going?
the wise question of 15 years - my daughter.

Something about what they were doing called to me.  Something about a life ended too soon that called me to join and pray and weep and wonder.

At first I met candles in milk bottles, and chalk on an asphalt corner "Tracy's Corner".

No one was there.

Greeves street - at night a place of sex workers and drugs.
Tonight - a gathering of people to say that even these people matter.

A still, quiet, cool night where people mingled - mums and dads with little children, lovers hand in hand, friends meeting after work, Suits, miniskirts, scarves, umbrellas and dogs. Low voices chatting and laughing - and crying. Each one holding a candle.

The sum of 500 single candles causing a warm, gentle glow. In a place of death and a daily struggle for life, this glow protested against the cold and dark - we will not let this person, this human life, end without hope and recognition.

Sally (Tonkin), the ceo of St Kilda Gatehouse, said, "tonight we see the worst of humanity and the best of humanity.”

The Gatehouse - a sanctuary for those who live a life that I could never imagine.  Providing unconditional love and hope to those who sell their hearts to addictions, and their bodies to men night after night - to pay for those addictions.  

Sally spoke of them with highest praise, "These are kind, beautiful, amazing, creative women - valued members of this community."  The compassion, love and creativity of this Gatehouse is outstanding. 

Others spoke;

a friend of Tracy, and Tracy's brother, female politicians, a mayor, and an angry man who is sick of male violence against women.

We...

listened, strangers in the glow of candlelight, joined with each other by this compelling call to value the life of a stranger who lived a strange life. Even in the glow of candles, we could still see compassion in each others faces, soft, warm and determined. 

We were not there to support prostitution, but to honour a woman - a human being, unique and loved by God and friends.  

We all knew...

that Greeves street wasn't like this on every other night.  Normally it was a place of risk and utter brokenness.  But we had a sense that we changed it - even for one night.

Tracy was murdered 10 days ago.

Sure, she was a prostitute and struggled with addictions - but that was not her dream, and it certainly wasn't her personality. Sure, she lived homeless in a van with her partner of 11 years, but that was not the future they wanted, together.  Sure, she had given up her two children for adoption when she found herself unable to care for them. But she cared for others in the street - others like herself.

We listened...

… and then a lone voice sang Amazing Grace.
 

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound 
that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see.

"Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis grace has brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home."

I was not the only one in tears.

Hearing that beautiful solo voice sing Amazing Grace in the clear night air - Grace had so much meaning in the context of Tracy's life,
in that moment,
on that street,
in the stillness of the night,
among candles and compassionate people. 

Grace. Amazing.

did you enjoy Synod?

asked if i enjoyed Synod
i reply
i'm not sure that the purpose of synod was my enjoyment.

for a (pleasant) change i sat.watched.listened.prayed.laughed.fidgetted.waited
(not my reports so I don't have a date with a microphone)
and wondered
could my future be here in this place.church.country?

maybe
but for now, this week i
.met new people, and started to form friendships, collegial relationships … and opinions.
.learned about how this church makes decisions, and what it is that these people consider important
.changed my mind, made up my mind, and was convinced to unmake it again
.heard trust&distrust&mistrust
.saw gaps, traces and cracks (where light might still get in)
.saw lots of resources - and a confusing array of doing and undoing and redoing
.started to grapple again with Strategy and Discernment; Strategy vs Discernment; (DisStrategment?)
… and wondered about using the right toolboxes for each - at the right times.
.learned a lot about consensus decision making and a very different process
.talked, listened, prayed, sang, hoped, watched, grappled and trusted with others.

i "guested". listening, learning, soaking it all in as the words, prayers, fears and hopes washed over and around and through me
You gave me a great gift, and i wondered
what might it take to give myself completely to become 'us' rather than 'you'
(to throw my hat over the wall)

i will remember
.a table where we talked, laughed, face-booked, changed our minds, waited in silence, prayed, changed our minds again and broke bread
.another table where we ate together, sharing stories and hopes
.silence, waiting, praying and trusting
.new learnings
.new friends

and leaving tired, changed, renewed


asked if i enjoyed synod
i might just smile
sure that the purpose of synod was not my enjoyment

Finding Grace in Rain

It rained last night – the first (real) rain I have experienced in Victoria since we arrived shortly after Christmas last year.  One could almost hear the earth sigh and the trees draw a breath of relief.  The soil in the garden had become parched and dry, the grass was almost dead and the trees had become stressed.  The first rush of rain washed leaves and dust away pretty quickly, but it was the steady watering overnight the made a difference. I sat in my study early the next morning and listened to the gentle rain softening up the soil and watering the thirsty plants.

Photo: http://www.mymodernmet.com

What changed even more immediately was the faces and body language of people that evening and the next day – there was a palpable sense of relief, with relaxed shoulders and faces.  It was like a burden had suddenly been lifted.  Just as the dryness of the earth had been reflected in the tired hearts of the people, so the rain had ‘watered and washed’ our souls.

The most unlikely things affect our hearts – weather, news reports, the smile of a child, the greeting of an old friend.

I enjoy the ‘soul cleansing’ of Lent.  Every Lenten season is different for me – depending on what is going on around me.  This year I am learning again about Sabbath, rest and grace through the book Sabbath Keeping written by my friend and colleague Lynne Baab.  The book takes the reader on a journey through stories of people who have chosen to experience God’s grace through observing the Sabbath – a day of rest each week. 

“When I take a break once a week, I remember that God is the one in charge of keeping the world turning and not me.  Taking a day off each week also encourages me to be responsible with how I spend my time on the other six days.” (p19) 

Baab encourages her readers to stop some things on their Sabbath (e.g. give up technology for the day) and to start some ‘Sabbath habits or rhythms’ (e.g. intentionally finding beautiful things to appreciate – art, flowers, etc).  Through Lent we have talked about a similar idea – giving up something and taking up something else.  The invitation this Lent has been to listen to the voice of the Spirit speaking to our hearts.

As we reach the Easter services, we grab hold of Grace in new and deep ways, but we also sit quietly and allow the soaking of the Spirit;
“You may come to me in happiness

Or you may come to me in grief

You may come to me in your deepest faith

Or you may come in disbelief” 

Leonard Cohen; Lover, Lover, Lover 

Like the soil receiving the rain, we don’t have to be ‘right’ or ‘ready’, just open to allowing the Spirit to soak into our souls.

Adieu. Farewell. So long and thanks for all the ...

Following is the text of my Farewell Speech from Conference 2012, held in Wellington, NZ.

Last week I ran in the Auckland Half Marathon.  The event is not as iconic as the New York Marathon, which was to run on Sunday.  The crowds in Auckland were not as big as New York – only 45,000 in Auckland, compared to the estimated 2 million who line the streets of the 5 Boroughs’ of New York.  But however big or small the crowds are, one can still feel the power of the crowd support.  In Devonport, we ran past 5 kids who had had a sleep over and were sitting on the front lawn at 7am - cheering us on.  At the finish line there were hundreds, 7 or 8 rows deep.  And they clapped and cheered for all of us, though they didn’t know who we were, and we didn't know most of them.  That support gave each of us a palpable surge of energy and a strong sense that we could finish – no matter how much we were hurting. 

Today I want to celebrate the support that I have received from many people in the church as I finish this race, and to acknowledge that without you our ministries would be nearly impossible.

•       Rebecca, my wife and best friend, who has put up with all the nights and weekends away, and all the stuff that the church has asked of me, and thrown at us.

•       Letitia and Jacinta, our amazing daughters – your welcome home is always worth coming home to.

•       The Mission Resourcing Team – Nehu, Esme, Andrew.

•       Aso, who was president when I was ordained, is far more than a colleague and director.  He has become a very close friend – wise, prayerful, deeply caring.

•       The Mission Resourcing Board, and especially Marilyn Welch and Hamish Ott as Chairs

•       All of the Synod Superintendents, Presidents and Vice Presidents, both General Secretaries, and many many other colleagues and friends – lay and ordained (I don’t distinguish)

•       Diana Tana and members of Hui Poari, who welcomed me warmly on my visits

•       Our Korean Ministry colleagues, and all our conversations and meals.

These seven years have been a roller coaster ride.

Aso and I started in the Board of Ministry days, seven years ago.

We have experienced 3 different forms of Governance, including the Commissioner John Hinchcliff.

For very different reasons, we have had 6 Board chairs – 8 if you count the various reincarnations of Michael Greer

We have lived through the illness and death of our dearest friend, colleague and pastor, Andre Le Roux.

I’ve been privileged to go to South Korea and South Africa – and to be part of the writing and signing of the statement of intent with the Seoul South Annual Conference this year.

I’ve visited every synod at least twice, have been Tauiwi EO twice, have served and led 21 Tauiwi Strategy meetings, and have been privileged to serve on various national ecumenical Boards and committees on behalf of the church (hospital chaplaincy, uniting congregations, fresh Expressions, church life survey, NZ Christian Network, and others).

I am not the same as I was when I have started. This job - and you - have grown me as a person.  I have grown in faith and understanding of God and of my fellow travellers.  I've tried to lead with compassion and serve with hope.

But at the heart of all I’ve done has been the delightful work with congregations and my colleagues. 

I’ve used the words delight and privilege because I mean it.

It has not always easy (understatement), but it has been an honour to lead and serve the church as Director and Tauiwi Executive Officer.

If I leave something with the church, I hope it is this.

The Church doesn’t grow – People grow: 

So grow the people – not buildings or committees or …

• Live in Faith, Hope and Love.
• Work harder at being colleagues who live the mandate of Jesus to “love one another”
• Build deeper faith in Jesus Christ, with each other and your communities.
• Don’t be scared to confront the bullies - whoever they are.
• Take time to share your stories and doubts with each other, and pray with and for each other.
• At the heart of your ministry, cling to the grace of growing people as disciples.

To my Christchurch friends -stay strong in the face of tiredness and change or no change. I know it is hard, but stay strong.

At the end of every race we make a choice – will I run again, or is it time to hang up my shoes? There is another race for me, and I am grateful to my friends who have encouraged me to stay in ministry.  The next race for me will be in Australia.

Next year we will be living in Melbourne, where I have accepted a congregational ministry with the Uniting Church of Australia.  Australia is Rebecca’s home, and this is an exciting move for all 4 of us – with delightful new possibilities.

The Methodist Church of New Zealand has been a spiritual home and has provided a fantastic ministry journey.  The thing I will miss most about all this are the friends I have made – from Riverton and Bluff to the Bay of Islands;  Familiar voices and friendly faces.  You will forever be friends, Whanau.

Finally ...

May our faith be greater than our fears,

our courage greater than our cowardice,

and our hope greater than our cynicism.

In all things remember this; God is with us.

Where do our Ministry Candidates come from? Part 3

(Click here for the Introduction; Part 1; Part 2)

Part 3. What can Synods, Congregations and Mission Resourcing do for leadership identification and recruitment.

In part 1 of this paper we noted the following:

“Several factors influence decisions to engage in intentional leadership training for ministry. The following are particularly true for Palangi candidates.

·       Understanding of Church, God, ministry and ones self

·       Personal skills in ministry and leadership

·       (Personal) Discernment of the call of God to particular ministries

In addition, some cultures emphasise more strongly the call of the community, the wishes of family members, the social status of the family, and the influence of parents or grandparents who have also been ordained. For Palangi candidates, these factors are far less influential.”

As far as I know, we have never done any intentional recruitment for Presbyteral ministry. For many years Rev Dave Mullan promoted Diaconal ministry, and the fruits of that were seen in a dozen or so deacons coming into ministry within a space of several years.

Some Congregations provide very good leadership development – The Youth group are groomed as leaders of the holiday program; Pastoral visitors are trained monthly; Parish Councillors have a 4 year non-renewable term; etc.

Some Synods have provided ministry exploration events where those wanting to know more about ministry (lay or ordained; Diaconal or Presbyteral; Administration or Parish leadership; leadership in missional or new ventures) can come and explore together what a call to ministry might involve.

We believe that in order to encourage people to consider ministry, the whole church (congregations, regions, synods, Trinity College and Mission Resourcing) will need to provide practical and theoretical training for lay and ordained in order to provide a “discernment journey”. This could take place in 4 settings:

1.     The parish / congregation / community

2.     Trinity College (formal training)

3.     Ministry experience which is reflected upon

4.     Ongoing spiritual and ministry development

These four areas can be provided for both lay and ordained leaders. Each step provides opportunity and challenge for discernment, assessment and experience / qualification.  In this way the 3 areas of Understanding, Skill and Discernment become ongoing features of this lifelong process. The process also provides any candidates / leaders with proven and provable development.

Other areas for further exploration:

·       Synod discernment days

·       Early encouragement of people into Lead Worship, Lay preachers qualifications or (if these are completed) other ongoing study, reading and reflection.

·       Congregations encouraging people to experience their Committees – if only for a couple of meetings

·       Church leaders (lay and ordained) encouraging leaders and potential leaders to attend and participate in Synod meetings and events.

·       Church leadership encouraging their members to try new ventures in mission in their communities.

In discussion I have suggested that we can improve our candidating / recruiting by 3 steps. (Note: these connect with the material in the first section of this report)

·       Advertise: Every year we could advertise in Touchstone and Emessenger for those considering candidating to make themselves known to their presbyters and Synod Candidates Conveners (SCC’s).  Part of this advertising could be to issue a challenge to consider ministry, and part could be to kick off the coming year’s candidates processes.

·       Challenge: The call to ordained Presbyteral and Diaconal ministry is a sensitive one, but involves a challenge to ‘leave your comfort and take a new journey’. The call is to a fulfilling and challenging ministry, while at the same time becoming part of the re-shaping of the church. *Missional intentions and ‘fresh expressions’ of church are going to need people who have a sense of ministry that may be different to ‘orthodox’ or traditional forms of ministry. This is a challenge that should be given through congregations and ministry leaders.

·       Inform: In a new processes, the minister and local parish become the major first port of call for candidates (NOT the synods, Mission Resourcing or "someone else"). In order to accomplish this well, ministers and congregations will need to gather material to engage the conversations, reflections and ministry praxis necessary to facilitate the discernment processes.

For Reflection:

o   What ways have I used to encourage people to think about / discern their ministries in our church?

o   What spiritual disciplines are necessary for good leadership in a church?

Link to Introduction

Link to Part 1

Link to Part 2